I promise it's not what it looks like.I was in a running race but i coughed really loud and flew up in the sky. I could not get down because I was on a speedy aeroplane window sill I jumped down and glided with my one wing and past the finish line.See i didn't cheat.
Monday, 13 November 2017
The BFG’s dream
This dream is about i is winning the lotto. Finally won the big money ‘Wow’ I was dansing with joy what could i do. My stomach was filled with bats I bought 3 things a lambogini aventidor that was red and had alide lights. It was special and a huge mansion that had a swimming pool and a whole football stadium “it was really big.” It had 5 stories, the ketchen had 8 sinks enormous pantries and own bodyguard with suits and black sunglasses. I was living the dream and was the popular. This was amazing until My mum called me for school.
Purpose: to describe Audience: Peers/blog buddies
WALT use a range of descriptive vocabulary
Write one paragraph to describe the setting - The cliffs/rocks, the waves, the sandy beach, the wild grasses.
Remember to edit and uplevel vocabulary. Have you used a range of sentences?
The Huge Waves
The huge dangerous zig zag waves grabbing people left right and centre what were humans thinking.The rocks were hard and steep and were higher than the clouds.If someone went in the salty “yuck” water they would never come back nor their family would be sullen.The sand was dry and golden and was going in people's eyes and mouths it was “gross.”The green grass was bright and holding hands together and adore life.Who dares to go in the water.
The water was freezing it was like touching ice with your bear feet.Green grass was soft and smooth I could sleep on this grass.I was shivering and holding my arms on my shoulders because I was very bitter. The sand felt hard it was like a boiled egg.
I like the way you added a lot of description. Next time you need to uplevel your vocabulary. - Sherlyn
Tuesday, 24 October 2017
The rusty Bridge
The curved bridge grabs over the quickly flowing icy river, joining the two freezing banks together. A shivering stick man was naked and frozen as a statue.The shiny snow was freezing and looking at his family on the other side of the bridge.
The wind blew angrily and sounded like a wolf howl in the distance. As the snow splashed into the river you hear the birds chirping and the seagulls cooing.A mouse scurried into the picture with a fox pouncing in behind. You could hear the mouse squeak and the fox sniffle.As the fox and the mouse scuttered over the tattered bridge you could hear tree branches breaking off
I felt the place was mysterious and abandoned
Good job: next time try and add more description and put a space after your full stops however I really liked the way you described the animals!-Gabrielle
Monday, 25 September 2017
Monday, 11 September 2017
As I watched the frightening robbery at Buckingham palace. They are stealing lots of wealthy things like the crown,gold, money and jewellery.lots of people were taking photos people were crying but I had to step up my game and save the palace I went in there sneakily past the guards barehanded fighting the robbers punching with all my might and finally I hitting them in the face all the way to the moon I saved the day. the police arrested the robbers for 28 years I was very thrilled.
Make sure your story makes sense and put correct punctuation in the right space.